these are my unfulfilled desires

occassionally on PBS i watch the program, rick steves' europe like any middle-aged women. Particularly, the episode about italy caught my eye. I instantly fell in love with italy. my unfulfilled desire is to visit italy. It is a land of ancient art like no other in the world. Every square inch is a bit of italy is exploding with history. It is basically an artist's haven there. i especially want to the Vatican and all the remarkable art in there. Also, i'd like to visit Milan were one of the first TokiDoki stores was established by the creator of TokiDoki, Simone Legno. Oh and the food excites me too. True, authentic italian food like no other italian food in the states. It is my life-long goal to go to italy!

these persons are enshrined within my heart.

One person that i can think off the top of my head is Neil. Neil has been there for me every step of way throughout my entire high school experience. i am debating if i want this to be like a 'thank you' or to simply talk about the memories we have shared over the years... whatever i'll do a hybrid of them both so here it goes... He has made me laugh with his stupid "your Mom" jokes even at times they could very annoying and piss me off but that's okay.Secondly, i'll never forget the daily pho with thai iced tea, of course after school from junior to senior year. Third, our love for youtube videos, especially, Happy Slip and Community Channel. Fourth, during junior the many nights we stayed up doing homework until two o'clock- Aye! Fifth, your positive attitude towards any situation (I swear, I'm not being sarcastic) through these experiences, you have taught me it is not worth getting stressed out over. I still get stressed but it is a work in progress. Sixth, thank you for tolerating my sassy attitude from time to time. Seventh, i enjoy our talks about religion and anything related to religion. Eighth, Sorry for the times i disappointed you;it truly upsets when i do. Ninth, you're the only person in my life that i can be on the phone with, without talking for a long time because it not awkward at all to me. it is as if i am in your room and we are beside each other doing are homework(Heather believes this too). And lastly, you have invited me into your home like no other has before and for that I AM truly grateful because getting to know you and your family at a personal level has open me to new experiences that i will carry in my memory forever. All that is left is to say is I love you, Neil and you will always be in my heart.

these scriptures texts have lit my path

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” - Pedro Arrupe

i got this quote from Junior Encounter. i took this quote and related to what i want to do after i graduate from Bellarmine, which is ultimately to become an illustrator. I come alive through art, connecting with my inner child as I draw, literally giggling the entire way through the process. My mind is unconscious of reality and my pencil possesses me. I do not know the difference from right or wrong, no boundaries exist at the time. My perspective of the chaotic world vanishes and I escape to my own. My mind is like my desk in my room. Two shelves rest upon my desk filled with a colorful variety of toys such as a Sailor moon doll, a Ziggy bank, a whistle shaped as an Oscar Mayer Weinermobile, a Garfield clock, a stack of Garfield comic books, a Ronald McDonald plush, a miniature cow bobble-head, Peanuts 50th anniversary toys, and several Hello Kitty toys from McDonalds. Each toy allows me to relive my blissful childhood experience. One my fondest memory of my childhood would have to be waking up on Saturday morning to watch cartoons with my two older brothers, Adam and David. We gathered our favorite toys; hot wheels and mine was my Sailor Moon doll and ripped our comforters off our beds and created a nest with our blankets closely to the T.V. that generously provided us with our favorite cartoons friends. Remembering a precious memory such as this and incorporating this emotion into my thinking process, I believe my drawings can create a dialogue with viewer, and impact them at a personal level, to reignite childhood memories of their own.
Being able to think like a child gives me a sense of freedom. Freedom from adulthood stresses, allowing me to escape from my hectic life of responsibilities and enter a state of mind that I am able to think clearly. It acts as a kind of therapy for me which leads me to believe that it can become therapeutic for others as well. I feel it is possible to develop a strong artistic style that will rub off onto others and implant the idea that, your imagination is never too far away. My goal is to trigger an account of a fond childhood memory of my viewers, reconnecting them with their inner child just like I do as an artist.

these influences have shaped my life

my mom has made the biggest impact on my life. She taught to how pray to Mother Mary because like she said, "Arlene, you know Mary pays closer attention to a child's prayer, you know? It's true, Arleney." She the one that taught me if i dislike a person for some reason then at least pick out one thing you like about them and like them for that reason. Also, she taught me how to clean, cook, sew, and paint. There have been times where i have not liked that women at all and had a lot of anger against her and the only way she reacted to my behavior by telling me how much she loved me. She had this unconditional love for me through it all. One the most important lessons i have learned from her is how to forgive and love. i yelled and screamed at her for leaving to california after my parents' divorce but she did not fight back. If anything i am thankful for her being patient with me. i am truly lucky to have a mom like her.

these lessons life has taught me

Even though I have a hard time facing the reality of my parents' divorce and other hardships in the best year, i have to admit i'm pretty damn lucky. if anything the struggles have taught me to thankful for what i have. i am privileged to go to Bellarmine so that I may have a good chance of me getting into the college i want to attend next year. Secondly, i am grateful to have a roof over my head last. About this time last year, money was tight and my dad was late on the house payment. it was christmas day when there was unexpected ring at the door. my dad was hesitant to answer the door so then i decide to answer the door. It was the postman. In hand, he had a small yellow piece of paper that had to signed. My dad had seen the postman give me the paper but he suddenly whispered to me "Don't sign it". Little did i know, but if i had signed that slip of paper then i would have agreed to the mortgage company to take our house away from us. This christmas i am happy to say that we are not close to losing our house but we still act fugal with our money. i am grateful that everyone in my family is healthy and doing well. Food is another thing i greatly appreciate too. The basic essentials we take granted are the things i am most appreciative of in life. Plus, these struggles i have been through, i have learned this only makes me stronger and allows to put in perspective what is most important in life.

These are things i have lived for

i live for the precious time i have with my friends. with my friend fawn i live for going up to lake cushman and taking our ritual late night walks in the complete darkness. We talk for hours about future and what we hope to do in the next coming years. it always a nice way to relax and open up to each other.I live for a perfect sunset. i live for the summer nights at andrew's house, with the "gang" gathered around the crackling fire,talking about just whatever, laughing, and soft music playing in the background. i live for the many times i go up to Seattle to immerse myself in the city-life and to receive some artistic inspiration. i love for the moments when i draw something up and i make a person laugh, it is one of the best feelings in the world in my opinion. i live for the times i speak with a funny to my friends and family to get people cheery and laughing. I live for the for simply things like just relaxing at home with my cat on my lap, watching some t.v. I live for the moments i spend time with My Family in California and eating Mario's buriitos down the street from my Nana and Tata's house in Pico Rivera. I live for my grandma saying ridiculous things such "2,000 points if you run over this old guy... he doesn't have much time anyway." I live for when my Uncle Ray cracks a joke during before a funeral starts. If none of these moments existed in my life, my life would be meaningless.

These convictions I have lived by

i would like to believe have done a fine job of telling the truth.
For one thing, i know i am not the best liar plus, it never got me any where. Being honest with parents has created a confident trust between us. With this trust, they have allowed me to choose and do what i want but, suggested i consider the good and bad consequences of my actions. They have confidence that i will ultimately decide to do what's best for myself with no doubt. I don't want to disappoint them because for me it is a sign of disrespect. That is the last thing i would want to do because they have given me so much. I thank them for having such confidence in me, giving the room to make mistakes and accomplishments as well. It has really shaped me to become the person i am today and who i am becoming. Once I become a parent, i hope i can have this same bond of trust with my children as i did with my parents.